one word prompt: aimless

Simply for me; aimless is just not having direction and that is exactly why it took my girlfriend and I almost 20 years to obtain a 4 year college degree and 4 years to get a job in the field of study we told ourselves that we wanted so purposefully.  At first I thought it was procrastination.  Not really.  We had no problem starting anything.  Our follow-through was the issue.  Every year we allowed either family, employment, finance, study habits and anything else to prevent us from reaching our goal.

We began the journey by enrolling in the nursing program at a Junior college then shortly withdrawing from the program.  My claim was I had to work fulltime and my child was too young to leave with strangers.  Her excuse was financial aid run out.  Then we enrolled in early childhood education; she quit and I continued.  I still did not complete the program.  We lost contact with one another, yet after several years met up at a local  community event.

As it turns we each had enrolled in several programs over the years and none of them were for nursing.  I think we gave up on our aim and chose a different target.  She had enrolled in programs in human services, curriculum and psychology.  I had enrolled in teaching, business and counseling.  Its funny; while typing this I realized how we were so much alike even in academia selections.  We were all over the place.  We were like wandering children looking for something to do.  We agreed that we had given up on becoming an Registered Nurse and chose and made a more suitable choice for whatever reason.

I gave us a key.  I said to her that we were wandering aimlessly through life because we had not identified our purpose.  We never honestly answered the question why we wanted to become a nurse.  We had not considered the work and dedication it would take to put clothes on our dream to make it work.   Our awareness of our emotional state made us feel so vulnerable.  We felt literally felt aimless.  How on earth were we going to become anything in life without direction?

Since that awakening we learned to call it what it is. We realized that we could not become what we could not see.

 

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