Many days I think about my life from the past to the present. To prevent me from being all over the place I will limit this conversation to my professional, career, of sorts.
I remember as a child playing with children in my neighborhood. My caregivers at the time did not allow us to go too far from the house. If children wanted to play with us they would either come to our house so we could play in the yard or in the streets on our block or directly in front of the house.
Any time I had the opportunity to choose what we would play, I would select “playing school” where I would be the teacher. The subject I would teach would be math and language arts/spelling. My siblings and other children would play a little while but complained about being bored, so I would add recess to my class. I was so determined to teach until I would line my baby dolls up along the wall of my bedroom floor and pretend they were actively participating in class.
Sure, I would run and play like other children yet my favorite thing to do was to teach. My other favorite pass time was reading and playing doctor. Of course I would be the doctor or nurse. I remember trying to help a cat deliver its kittens. That did not work out well for the cat or I. I literally had to run for my life.
I did not know then but I had found my passion. I did not know what to call it. I just knew that helping others brought me joy and fulfillment. I dreamed alot during my childhood. My mind would wander seemingly non stop. My imagination was so far from my reality. As I grew older I used school enrollment as an adventure. I learned early on that college would take concentration. I was able to concentrate and do very well in school. The issue was attending college became a life line. I never had to think about how crappy my life had been s a child, teen and young adult. I had to focus on my studies to be successful.
I decided to go to school for a certified nursing assistant. At the time it seemed to be the thing to do and I guess the latest craze. I had an idea of nursing without the expectation of being a nurse with the tremendous responsibility. I completed the program and worked in the field for years. I started out working at a rehabilitative facility. It was exciting and physically demanding. Most of my clients had head injuries and paralysis. I learned quickly that this was a job and not a career.
I enrolled in Junior college. My major course of interest was nursing. I enjoyed the classes so much. I like science, and anatomy and physiology fascinated me. Then along came a boy and soon after a baby. I didn’t have anyone to tell me that I could be successful at both. We needed the money so, I had to quit the nursing program. At time I did not know how one day I would regret and miss it so much. Years after that there was marriage and school again. I had to try again, yet this time it was early childhood education.
Being a young mother I was excited about human growth and development of young children. I even got a job working at a child care center. It was great. Life showed up again so, I quit again. What can I say, there are people in our life that really want you to succeed as long as it does not cost them anything. So many year kept passing me by until I did not think that I would ever complete anything. I had two possible good start programs and I could not complete one of them. I loved teaching and insured that I would teach y first born everything that I could.
As I type this I observe obvious patterns in my life that not only I did not complete but left me feeling incomplete. Almost like being grading on my life and receiving an incomplete. Well it did not stop there. I became a mother of another. Oh my! attending school seemed farther and farther away. Some time after that I enrolled in college again. I had about 4 or 5 classes to receive an AS or AA degree. The bachelors of art program was set up whereas could take the major course of study classes while completing the prerequisites. The program of study was Human Services with emphasis on adult learning with curriculum design and instruction. The class taught me so much about myself and how I could finally complete something with no regrets. I received no employment opportunity in the field of study.
I completed the program in a little over a year. However the other required courses that were needed to graduate took much longer than I thought. My degree was held up for years. Life showed up again, and again. I became sick of the entire thing. I led others outside of the program to believe that I had completed the program and I did technically. Eventually I completed the program and received my degree. I received no employment opportunity in the field of study.